We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize