Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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