I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize