BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
