I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
