I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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