the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I believe in your delicious
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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