after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
we should paint friendship bongs
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