I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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