ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I supernannyed him into submission
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
