I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
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