my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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