I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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