My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
