Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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