Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
