you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
