Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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