i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you didnt know i had herpes?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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