i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
