Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous

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  (630): Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me (1-630): It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous http://tfl.nu/qwdq
  Replies (9) Good night (789) Bad night (2505)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.

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  (706): Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour. http://tfl.nu/wtdj
  Replies (9) Good night (4751) Bad night (669)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.

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  (312): Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer. http://tfl.nu/54ng
  Replies (19) Good night (8255) Bad night (970)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.

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  (615): all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia. http://tfl.nu/zayo
  Replies (17) Good night (4817) Bad night (771)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.

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  (518): I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred. http://tfl.nu/3k1m
  Replies (11) Good night (3872) Bad night (880)
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  (619): View more from California

  Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.

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  (619): Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this. http://tfl.nu/9259
  Replies (13) Good night (1860) Bad night (1426)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.

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  (401): anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches. http://tfl.nu/n5i2
  Replies (17) Good night (4944) Bad night (855)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.

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  (216): Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself. http://tfl.nu/3gaw
  Replies (46) Good night (2451) Bad night (880)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.

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  (508): I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver. http://tfl.nu/smcq
  Replies (1) Good night (1409) Bad night (563)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole

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  (410): I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole http://tfl.nu/hdrj
  Replies (7) Good night (2212) Bad night (758)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.

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  (316): You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times. http://tfl.nu/0lcm
  Replies (3) Good night (907) Bad night (606)
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  (916): View more from California

  She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.

  (510): View more from California

  See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed

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  (916): She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true. (510): See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed http://tfl.nu/tsp4
  Replies (1) Good night (1059) Bad night (433)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?

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  (267): I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins? http://tfl.nu/zr7p
  Replies (7) Good night (968) Bad night (417)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.

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  (860): You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night. http://tfl.nu/3rw4
  Replies (0) Good night (646) Bad night (336)
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  (530): View more from California

  he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is

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  (530): he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is http://tfl.nu/8ns1
  Replies (3) Good night (308) Bad night (159)

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