I wannas sexs uuuuu
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.