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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.

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• (914): View more from New York

  If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Way to crack the case Nancy Drew

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• (432): View more from Texas

  They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made

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