I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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