When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
as a side note pls kill me
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