Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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