During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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