I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Please, let me fuck your mom
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
