I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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