Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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