Pappa wants mamma naked
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize
