Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
