I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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