dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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