We won't sleep together?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
