i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Randomize
