you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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