When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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