You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
