i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
