And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize