Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
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I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
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You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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