yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
