Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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