This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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