apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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