the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
