i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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