Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
