its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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