i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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