I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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