she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize