Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
