help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
