Banned from zoo.
Again?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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