Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
