I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you would pick up someone in the library
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Let's get the cat blown out
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
