Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
