I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize