Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.