I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?