So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
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I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
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i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.