somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
