I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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